"Will you marry me?"
Halos maiyak si Honey habang nakatingin sa nakaluhod sa isang tuhod nito na si Zander. Sa mga kamay nito ay tangan nito ang isang mamahaling singsing na may malaking d'yamanteng batong tanda ng pagmamahal nito.
Napakagwapo ng binatang naka-tailored suit pa para sa mukhang pinaghandaan na proposal na iyon. Nasa mga mata nito ang labis na pag-asam na makatanggap ng positibong sagot.
"Yes, Zander! I will marry you!" Luhaang tugon naman ni Reina sa kasintahan. Ibinigay nito ang kamay na maingat namang sinuotan ni Zander ng singsing. Tapos ay tumayo ito at niyakap ang babaeng officially ay fiancee na nito.
Noon tuluyang bumagsak ang mga luha ni Honey. Mabilis siyang tumalikod at umalis sa lugar na iyon.
Alam niyang sinadya ni Reina na dalhin siya ro'n. Reina knew that Zander was going to propose to her. At dinala siya ng pinsan para ipamukha sa kanyang wala na siyang pag-asa pa sa binatang pareho nilang minamahal.
Pero kung inaakala nito na gano'n lang at susuko na siya, nagkakamali ito. Hindi pa siya tapos hangga't hindi pa kasal ang mga ito.
Gayo'n din lang at sinusubukan talaga siya, puwes, ipapakita niya rito kung ano ang kayang gawin ng isang tunay na Alcantara. Nakalimutan na ata ni Reina na sampid lang ito sa pamilya nila at lahat ng mayro'n ito ay dahil lang sa pabor na ibinigay niya.
A sinister smile graced her lips. Hindi gano'n-gano'n lang na nagpapatalo ang isang gaya niya!
After driving home, agad niyang sinadya ang lolo niya sa study room kung saan ito nag-oopisina kapag nasa mansyon ito. And due to his old age of seventy-five years, madalang na nga itong pumunta mismo sa opisina.
"Lolo!" bungad niyang pinatulo agad ang mga luha pagkapasok niya sa naturang silid.
"Apo?" Kung ano man ang ginagawa ni Senyor Gustavo bago siya dumating ay agad nitong binitawan nang makita ang luhaang paboritong apo. "Bakit ka umiiyak, Honey?" Nag-aalala nitong dagdag.
"Lolo, Zander proposed marriage to ate Reina!" Bumunghalit siya ng iyak. "I cannot accept it! Mahal ko si Zander, Lolo. Do something about it!" Walang paliguy-ligoy niyang panghihingi ng pabor habang nakaupo sa paanan nito't nakatingala ang luhaan niyang mukha rito.
Nakita ni Honey ang pagtagis ng mga bagang ng kanyang abuelo. Nakuyom pa nito ang mga kamao nito. Alam niya sa loob niya, walang hindi gagawin ang matanda para sa kanya.
Mula pagkabata niya hanggang sa edad niya ngayong bente-dos, hindi pa siya nagdalawang salita kay Senyor Gustavo. Spoiled na kung spoiled, but the old man couldn't bear to see tears in her eyes.
"I want him to marry me instead, Lolo!" she added.
"I will do everything in my power to make him marry you, apo." Agad nitong pangako. Wala nang tanong-tanong o react-react kahit na alam naman nitong kasintahan ng peke nitong apong si Reina si Zander. "Now, dry those tears. I can't stand to see you like this."
"But how? Baka magpakasal na sila agad, Lo…" sisinghot-singhot niyang tanong bagamat totoo ang kanyang pag-aalala.
Knowing how Zander rushed the proposal, malamang sa malamang, pakasalan din nito nang mabilis si Reina para lang maitaboy na siya palayo rito.
Zander hated her guts kahit noong unang beses pa lang nitong malaman na gusto niya ito. Pirmi at hindi nagbago ang pagtingin nito sa kanya. Wari ba ay disgusted ito sa kanya.
Bagay na hindi niya maintindihan. Maganda naman siya. Kung 'yon ang pag-uusapan, ang layo ni Reina sa kanya. Sexy rin naman, although dito ata lamang sa kanya ang pinsan. She was slim but Reina had curves.
Matalino rin siya. She could compete with Reina without a doubt. Mabait din siya, masayahin, masarap kasama… And yet, halos isuka siya ng binatang minamahal niya.
"Are you underestimating your grandfather?" Nasa mga mata ng abuelo niya ang paniniguradong hindi siya nito bibiguin.
Umiling siya at hinayaan itong tuyuin ang mga luha niya.
Lumaki si Honey na sunod ang layaw. Hindi naman siya abusadong bata dahil alam niya ang mga limitasyon niya.
Ang rason ng pagbibigay sa kanya ng lahat ng gusto niya ay para punuan ang mga bagay na wala siya. Her lack of loving and caring parents for instance.
She was a product of a broken home. May kani-kaniya ng pamilya ang mga magulang niya na inabandona siya sa kalinga ng kanyang Lolo at Lola noong limang taong gulang pa lamang siya.
It was her grandparents' fear for her to grow up lonely. She still did. Pero tinatago niya 'yon sa masayahin niyang personalidad whenever she was around people.
Pero tulad ng lahat ng bagay na kulang, mayroon siyang attitude problem. Because she was a broken soul inside, she longed for the love of people around her. So far, si Zander pa lang ang tumatanggi sa kanya maliban sa mga magulang niyang matagal na siyang pinagkaitan ng pagmamahal.
And she couldn't accept it. Hindi lang sa kadahilanang ayaw siya nito. Pero dahil mahal niya ito. Hindi pa siya nagmahal katulad ng pagmamahal niya sa binata. And yet, time and again, he rejected her as if she were a plague.
Paglabas niya mula sa study, nakasalubong pa niya si Reina na nakauwi na rin pala. Kay laki ng ngiti nitong hindi maitagong nasa alapaap pa ito.
Why not? She was already engaged with Zander.
"Honey, hinahanap kita. Bakit ka umalis nang hindi nagpapaalam?" Kunwa'y concern nitong tanong. "Pinag-alala mo kami–"
"Nakita ko, ate Reina. Cut the drama," putol niya rito. Everyday, she was growing to hate her even more. Tinalikuran niya ito para magpunta sa silid niya. Pero bago siya makalayo, nilingon niya ulit ito. "Oh, were you waiting for me to congratulate you?"
"At least be happy for me, Honey," Reina said in a low tone, as if she were aggrieved.
Lalo siyang nainis. Napaka-peke kahit kailan!
"Why would I? Enjoy mo na lang habang ikaw pa ang engaged sa kanya," she smiled sarcastically bago ito tuluyang tinalikuran.
"Anong ibig mong sabihin, Honey?" Habol nito. Pero hindi niya ito pinansin.
Bakit hindi nito hulaan ang nais niyang sabihin? After all, nakita siya nitong galing sa kanilang Lolo.
Well, sa kanyang Lolo pala. Reina Alcantara was not a real Alcantara. Love child ito ng asawa ng Tito Arnold niya sa pagkadalaga.
Initially, nobody accepted Reina into the family. Pero ang batang Honey noon na mistulang nakatagpo ng kalaro at ate sa katauhan nito ang unang tumanggap at nagmahal dito bilang isang pamilya.
She loved Reina. She doted on her until everyone in the family accepted her.
But a couple of months ago, when Honey met Reina's boyfriend, Zander Kho, everything changed. She wanted the man for herself.
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Tears rolled down my face.
My life was over.
I smoothed the crumpled bedsheet beside me, sniffing the last of his scent on the pillow he used. And then I closed my eyes so tight that it was so hard not to sob. My throat was swelling and. my heart was racing. How could such a wonderful thing end so easily and then plummet to the brink of sadness and despair? What would I do after all that happened?
My inner wolf felt awful as well. She made sure to hide deep within me. She never wanted to add to the emotional burden I was already suffering because of the recklessness I showed.
Sobs emerged from my throat. I embraced the soft cashmere blanket against my bruised skin. Every inch of me was aching. My eyes caught the blood stain on the bedsheet, making me shudder in pain. Goddess, it was tormenting. Not just physically but emotionally as well. I thought my heart was already numb from all the heartbreaks I suffered from loving him. However, because of my own foolishness, everything that happened between me and him that night became a profound wake-up call for me.
He will never be yours, Giselle. I whispered inside my head. I had already exhausted all possibilities, leaving only the bitter truth I could taste at the back of my tongue.
I was never enough. I will never always be enough.
I bit my lower lip hard. I bit my lower lip so forcefully that I nearly tasted blood, causing a sudden surge of anger in my chest. It burned the miserable feeling in me and acted like gasoline that pumped throughout my veins, urging me to go out of bed and snatch all my clothes from the floor. In his room, I was totally alone. He left me without a word, and I thought it was okay. I thought it would be better if I didn’t have to see his face once I left his condo unit and disappeared from his life forever.
I put my clothes on with anger and shivering fingers, and I checked my face in the mirror first. My eyes were puffy red, and there were bruises visible on my arms and the right side of my neck. Last night was wild and intoxicating. Blissful and thrilling. But then morning came, and everything turned bleak and awful, and I just wanted to forget every bit of memory of it.
But it did happen. Every second of it was tattooed on my head, causing the tears to run freely down my pale cheeks. The delicious sound of his voice when he whimpered my name. His touch made me feel so delicate and weak. I felt like I was melting butter under his flawlessly sculpted body. He was so handsome. It was as if the gods had molded him into perfection, and no woman could ever resist the animal magnetism of that man!
I shut my eyes tight.
Well, perhaps not my sister, who had a stone for a heart. But it was aggravating that I was not exempted from being a crazy girl who fell in love with a man like him.
“Screw you, Caden!” I snarled under my shivering breath, then punched the mirror with all my strength, only to channel the pain away from my heart and down to the bleeding knuckles of my small hands.
I could feel the weight of the world falling on my shoulders.
One month later...
“No, Madelyn. I can’t go out tonight! I have to finish this project before the deadline, okay?” I kept my voice calm as I talked to my best friend, Madelyn, over the phone. I met her two years ago at an art viewing in one of the city's museums. She had been insisting on taking me out of the house since last week because, apparently, I now have a habit of imprisoning myself inside my small, old apartment full of canvasses, dirty paintbrushes, and tin cans of paint.
Yes. I sell paintings for a living.
“You have been sick for days, Giselle. You have to get out of your small den and breathe some fresh air, for goddess' sake! I am scared your brain has already melted with the fumes of those paint chemicals!”
I poured black coffee on my mug and smiled despite my friend’s anxious voice. She was always overprotective of me. I owe her a lot after I ran away from the pack and home. “Tomorrow. I swear. I am feeling great today, so I will pour all this positive energy into my work and finish it before the deadline. Then I’ll treat you to a nice cup of coffee this weekend. Is that good?” I made my voice as cheerful as possible and then took a small sip.
The bitter drink spread all over my mouth, and I almost gagged at the taste. Madelyn heard me and then went into total panic. “Giselle?! Are you alright?! What happened?”
“I’m fine. It’s just the coffee. I forgot the sugar and cream.” I lied to her. The coffee was fine. I just couldn’t understand why my stomach didn’t want it anymore when I used to drink it every morning. “See you later, Madz.”
Before she could even speak again, I hung up the phone and placed the mug on the small wooden dining table. I went straight to the toilet and opened the medicine cabinet. There was a force telling me to open it and take something from it.
I felt like my heart crawled up to my throat.
“Maybe I am just paranoid,” I whispered to myself, but I still took the small white packet. I looked at myself in the mirror and moved sideways, focusing my eyes on my tummy. Then I touched it. I felt it in the palm of my hand, with a scared feeling in my chest.
It couldn’t be.
“It was just a one-night thing! No one gets pregnant like that,” I uttered in a shaky voice, my eyes full of dread as I looked at my face in the mirror. I was too scared to know the truth. I was not ready.
I put the packet of pregnancy tests on the sink, thinking about throwing it in the trash. But then, with shuddering fingers, I took it and tore the plastic packaging.
“There is only one way to find out.” I breathed desperately, trying to find the courage to do it. My heart was fast, beating wildly against my chest, and I could hear it inside my ear as it throbbed. Softly at first, and then it became louder and louder until I couldn’t hear anything but the thumping of my own heartbeat.
Ba dum, ba dum, ba dum.
Each second that I anxiously stayed inside the toilet made me want to scream. I watched how the red line on the test kit appeared. I held my breath for as long as I could. As if breathing would make the scariest result appear right in front of me.
And it did.
“F*CK!!!” I yelled at the top of my lungs and threw the pregnancy kit on the other side of the tiled wall. “No! This isn’t happening... THIS. IS. NOT. HAPPENING!”
No. No. No. No. No!
I heard a loud knock on the door, but I was too weak to go and open it. I sat on the toilet bowl while cold sweat beaded my forehead. I was so confused. I couldn’t believe that one night of mistakes could create something inside me that fast.
I didn’t know if I could raise a child now that I had removed myself from my former pack. I had no one to help me now but my best friend Madelyn, who I was sure would faint once she found out about the truth. About what actually happened.
About how Alpha Caden just disappeared like a ghost after he took my virginity that night at my sister’s engagement party.
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